Mommy initiation

Monday Linaya was sick, not just a cold. She kept on throwing up again and again. By the end she was so weak she would fall asleep before she even finished. She was pale and listless and it was very scary. I stayed up with her until 1:30 a.m. and I think it's my true mommy initiation. Because although she's had such trifling things as colds, I've never seen her so weak and helpless. I felt like the worse villain when I wrestled with her so she wouldn't touch her ickies. It truly was one of the longest nights of my life. Even when she finally fell asleep, I kept worrying about whether she was warm enough, if she would wake again, and what I would do if she went through both sheets again. (We only have two sets).

Since then she's been eating listlessly and is a little grumpy about everything. I feel very sorry for her, but there isn't much I can do to help her. We went to the doctors yesterday for her year-old shots and she really didn't like that much either. And today Kitty scratched her across the nose. She's really just not having a good week. But I truly feel like a mother now seeing my baby so helpless.

I just feel sorry for Sandin, who's birthday it was. What a horrendous birthday.